Have you ever read anything about Han van Meegeren, the man who forged the Vermeers? He’s fascinating, and there are a couple of decent books about him.
LET ME YELL A LITTLE TO THE INTERNET AT LARGE ABOUT MY LOVE FOR HAN VAN MEEGEREN
HE COMBINES ALL OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS
- SAYING “FUCK YOU” TO ART SNOBBERY
- CON MEN WITH HEARTS OF GOLD
- TECHNICAL SKILLS USED IN THE COMMISSION OF HILARIOUS CRIMES
- ART HISTORY
- TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO NAZIS
THE BEAUTY OF VAN MEEGEREN IS THAT HE STARTED FORGING VERMEERS BECAUSE CRITICS HATED HIS ART (WHICH WAS ADMITTEDLY KIND OF TERRIBLE) BUT THEN WHEN HE STARTED PAINTING VERMEERS HE STUDIED THEM REALLY HARD AND LEARNED ABOUT AGING TECHNIQUES AND PAINTED THE SHIT OUT OF SOME FAKE VERMEERS
AND OKAY MAYBE HE CHEATED SOME PEOPLE BUT I’M SORT OF INCLINED TO FORGIVE HIM BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WEREN’T RICH ENOUGH TO TAKE THE HIT AND THEN
HE SOLD A FAKE VERMEER TO A NAZI BANKER WHO SOLD IT TO HERMANN GOERING
WHO GOT HIS JOLLIES STEALING ART FROM AND THEN BRUTALLY MURDERING THE ENTIRE JEWISH POPULATION OF EVERYWHERE HE WENT
SO FUCK GOERING.
AND AFTER THE WAR VAN MEEGEREN WAS BROUGHT UP ON CHARGES OF COLLUDING WITH THE ENEMY BECAUSE HE SOLD VERMEERS TO COMMANDER SHITHEAD OVER THERE
AND VAN MEEGEREN WAS LIKE
"Naw bro that was a fake I just brought tons of legit art and money into the country by cheating Nazis with a bunch of forged paintings."
SO THEY LOCKED HIM IN A ROOM AND SAID IF YOU’RE SO CLEVER AND THOSE REALLY WERE FAKE, DO IT AGAIN
AND WITH DECADES OF HIS FREEDOM AT STAKE
HE PAINTED A VERMEER
"Jesus Among the Doctors" aka "Young Christ in the Temple" aka "SCHOOLED YOU LOL" please note still kind of a shitty artist, you make the baby Vermeer cry
SO HE WAS ALL *MIC DROP* BUT THEN HE HAD TO PICK THE MIC BACK UP BECAUSE HE WAS CHARGED WITH FORGERY AND SENTENCED TO A YEAR IN PRISON.
BEFORE THE SENTENCE COULD BE CARRIED OUT HE DIED, WHICH IS SAD
BUT HIS SECOND WIFE GOT TO KEEP ALL THE PROCEEDS OF HIS DASTARDLY DEALINGS BECAUSE OF LEGAL DOODAHERY AND THAT SET HER UP FOR LIFE
SO BASICALLY HAN VAN MEEGEREN: SHITTY PAINTER, GOOD HUSBAND, EXEMPLARY CON MAN, MADE HIS BONES CHEATING NAZIS.
YOU KNOW THIS SONG.
YOU KNOW EVERY WORD.
JUST DO IT.
HUSH!!! STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND SING.
My mom: WHAT THE HELL IS A SECRET TUNNEL AND WHY ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT ONE SO. LOUDLY?
I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO HIT PLAY BEFORE I REBLOG
Squeal! Mike and Bryan are showing us an advanced screening of Episode 8 “The Terror Within” (!!!). We’ll be live-GIFing a few of our favorite moments for fans at home!
BIG GIVEAWAY BY *AQ44:
CELEBRATION OF 500 FOLLOWERS!
I have 9 price choices and there will be 2 winners who can choose between the prices and get their price shipped to them FOR FREE WORLDWIDE! Must be giving me their postal address of course.
R U L E S :
- Must be following *AQ44
- Must have reblogged this post
:: (Each reblog counts as an entry. You may reblog once per day.)
Must have liked this post(not needed anymore)
- You can reblog this post until July 29th 2014
- I will choose a random Reblogger at July 30th 2014
- Must have your ask box open
- No giveaway blogs please
- Must reply within 1 week or I’ll pick someone else
Please read the photo captions for titles of the products. I hope you find something you like ♥︎ And now: Participate and reblog !! ★★★★
PS: If you have questions about the prices feel free to ask me! :)
Blogger of Aquarium44 is *A44: @asskisser44
This giveaway is not associated with Tumblr.
9 more days until the give away ends!
If you see a dog in a closed box with hardly any air holes, what are you gonna do?
You’re gonna try and get the dog out and call the owner out on their animal mistreatment, right?
If you see a cat locked in a crate with feces all over the floor and all over the cat, you’re gonna try and rescue the cat, right? Maybe punch someone in the face for doing that?
If it was a rabbit, or a horse, or even a bird, you’d try and help the animal and not stand by while it was suffering, right?
Then WHY, in all of HELL, do we ignore these kinds of things when goldfish, or any type of fish, are involved?
Goldfish cannot live a healthy life in a bowl. Goldfish are too large and they create a lot of waste, which, in a bowl especially with no filter, quickly becomes a very toxic environment that they can’t escape from. There’s no room for them to grow, and the the ammonia buildup alone hurts your fish more than you can believe.
The worst is when these things are pointed out and people have the audacity to fight back with bullshit.
"it’s lived in a bowl just fine for the past x amount of weeks!" I could lock you in a closet for a few weeks and you’d live, wouldn’t you? Would it be any good for you? Hell no.
"Goldfish grow to the size of their tank!" Wrong again. Goldfish grow until they die, and a healthy fish will not stop growing. However, a fish in ill heath can become STUNTED, which is not at all good and leads to an early death.
"It’s just a goldfish, I can get another when it dies!" You’re an asshole and a moron, and I wish the worst upon you for treating animals like disposable items.
ANIMALS ARE NOT DECORATIONS; IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO PUT IN THE EFFORT TO MAKE SURE YOUR ANIMAL IS HEALTHY, THEN DON’T GET AN ANIMAL
Recently marimo-sanctuary has hit 100 followers, and to celebrate the mods and our followers have decided to have a giveaway! Please read everything below for more information!
Rules for the Giveaway-
- You must be following marimo-sanctuary! This giveaway is to celebrate our followers so you have to be a follower!
- You must be ok with giving us your address if you win. Your new marimo will never reach you if we don’t get your mailing address!
- You must reblog this post, likes count, too! 1 reblog= 1 entry, 1 likes= 1 entry, 1 reblog + 1 like = 2 entries.
Pretty simple rules, nothing too complicated. Now to what you’re really here for- the prizes!
- A glass jar for your new marimo! It’s the perfect size for it (I’ve checked) and the lid closes tightly for minimum water leaking or spillage.
- Golden aquarium rocks fit for a king marimo! These are perfect to put in the bottom of your jar/aquarium.
- 1 medium sized marimo from PetSmart! It just wouldn’t be a marimo blog giveaway without a marimo now would it? This little guy is in need of a home and I’m sure one of you is in need of a marimo!
There will be one winner for the giveaway.
The ending date for the giveaway will be July 31, 2014. That gives one month for the giveaway to circulate. If there’s not enough entries to the giveaway we may extend the date.
Don’t worry if you don’t win this giveaway! There’s sure to be another one in the future with how fast the blog is growing! That’s all!
I couldn’t resist after seeing the edit here http://theumbrellaboy.tumblr.com/post/91987639923/i-made-this-edit-in-a-fiery-passion-at-the-end-of